I moved to another dorm room last month. Come to think of it, that was the fourth time of me moving. It was one in January when I left for Japan ( staying in a small studio). Second, when I moved out from studio in April, to go back to Kuala Lumpur. My third house-moving was in October, I moved in to campus hostel (used to stay in a 3 room apartment). Two months after, the hostel management gave me a new room and I was asked to move.
I am graduating in few months and I will have to do it all over again.
Packing, unpacking. Carrying heavy boxes. Dragging the luggages. Now I even acquired another cubicle desk in my lab just to put my stuffs since I’m tired of carrying them around. Right now I feel like the lab is my only settled place.
I saw my friend posted her 2017 plan on instagram. Apparently in the beginning of 2017 she plans to secure a house for herself, and have an oversea trip by end of the year. Wow. I want to make such plan too. But how do I plan if my life isnt even settled? Like how can I decide to buy a house if I don’t even know where I would be living by next July? And how can I plan a trip if I don’t even know whether I will be earning money (work) or no?
The word “no” may refer to PhD, housewife, or unemployed.
What about last year? Last 2 years?
2015 : january – February worked in aunty’s company. I came back to Malaysia in March.
2014 : finishing undergraduate I June. Moved back to Indonesia. Stayed at home for the rest of the year. Dad was sick.
See? I never passed the years without having to move from one place to another. May be this is why I barely have yearly plans. Is this bad? To keep my life on the move? Unsettled? I don’t know. All I do is to have life goals and do what it takes to achieve them.
Just like my parents have been doing.
I mean. When I asked my late father about his actual life goals, he said he didn’t have any. All he did was to have life purposes (purposes are not goals, they are different) and then all his decision was made accordingly. I witnessed him being a successful medical doctor, neuropathologist, lecturer, preacher, leader, husband and father. Hopefully Allah also thinks that he was being great as he is.
So that was him without yearly life plan, 5 year plan, resolution, or whichever you may call them.
Maybe it’s not that my life is unsettled. Maybe it’s me who likes to keep life on the move. Maybe it’s me who doesn’t want to stay too long in a comfort zone.
Though in my previous post I declare Malaysia as my comfort zone, now you can see how dynamic my life is ,in both Malaysia and Indonesia.
Or maybe settling is not about a place. Just like when I find another home thousand kilometers away from my real hometown, maybe my life will be settled when I find someone who can calm it down. I don’t know.